Sunday, March 30, 2008

Random Cliches

It is the last day of March(almost) and for the first time I can sense a distinct spring in the air. It is oh so cool, this morning breeze, so refreshing and subtle(sure is a break from the untimely,ruthless Indian summer).I bunked my morning routine and spent some extra hours under my blanket(yup,I actually needed a blanket).The early morning sun rays are so golden, it seems almost magical.And I take my own sweet time to linger on the terrace and drink in this sweet exotica. The trees are swaying and I can hear the birds all clamouring in raptures.Everything is in motion...This is life I say.But, at that precise moment I hear a most hideous rattling and drilling noise.The area around my place is under construction and everyday for at least ten hours we are subjected to this pandemonium of drills and trucks and loading and unloading...thrash...crash...and so much more.

When was the last time I had relished a day without frowning and muttering curses under my breath at the most shameless breach of my privacy?I cannot remember.There is no rest and no peace and consequently a lot of bad mood when the blast next door is hammering incessantly(as it does everyday).You cannot read a book peacefully, or watch T.V, or even talk like sane people.Simplest joys are so rare.

Yesterday was Earth Day and the one hour global switch off.But, where I stay blackouts are an everyday affair.As summers come lashing out, power cuts become more and more frequent.I wasn't even allowed the satisfaction of being a part of the Day.Lite itti baar aati jaaati rahi ki there I was in no mood to add any more to it.

Some days back I learnt that the thickest, oldest and toughest sea ice around the North Pole is melting,which is a bad sign for the future of the Arctic ice cap(courtesy, NASA satellite data).Also,Some 2.5 million sq km of perennial ice have been lost -- about one and a half times the area of Alaska -- a 50 percent decrease between February 2007 and February 2008.Almost 75% of it lost.The offender is of course human induced climate change.This is horrifying because this ice cap is known to be as tough as nails...so hard and concrete and of course old.If this is melting then we can estimate the extent of damage done.More is on its way.Looking down south the Antarctica is not far in the score.Recently a US satellite noticed the 400 square KM Wilkins ice shelf collapsing.

Now a days the issue of global warming is being used ad nauseam and has acquired the cliched proportion of World Peace.But, all of it is being lost on the majority. Actually, unless something is thrust under our noses we fail to see it. An average citizen does not give a damn to what ice caps are and why they are such a big deal.I remember when I was in my college hostel(a government establishment) the fans and lights were working round the clock whether there was anyone in the rooms or not.Since there was no hassles with electricity bills energy was used and mostly abused.Sometimes the taps could be heard running wild early in the morning with no one using them.I confess I too was lazy enough not to mind the taps.But, the point is we do not care for what is staring in our faces... unless it is in the form of a Doomsday series of National Geographic or An Inconvenient Truth.Even then we push it at the back of our heads as just a happening bit of info...and make way for the more immediate concerns of life. C’mon now people, life is a concern in itself.We can fight among ourselves for stupid and not-so-stupid things...but once home is lost there would be nothing more to fight for.

For once think of those days of careless childhood...of that life...the rains...the winds...and the sun.It is worth fighting for.Only this time the adversary is within us.Check on the energy consumption and take care not to waste more than you use.And for heavens!!don't tell yourself that I-don't-care crap.

P.S#1:Enuf moralising...but seriously this is important.Give it more than just a thought!!

P.S#2:Since I sat down to write this...the day changed to cloudy...it rained for a few seconds...and now it is sunny again :) :)

Thursday, March 20, 2008

So Much for Love

As I promised myself the last time, I'll tackle love.Now, love is a quaint business.I many a times flattered myself with the cliched soft sensation and all the rest.But, sometime or the other the bubble burst and I was out in the open with nothing as I wished it to be.Nah,never in love.I spend my days listening to the cute tales of my friends' love lives, browsing through their pictures(feeling their happiness),reading Jane Austen,dreaming a lot more than I ought to do and getting a lot fatter than I would like to admit.But there is a lovely thing about dreaming(when you can afford to do it),dreaming about good times and things to come.I watch fruitless romances with baited breath and a gallon of tears(of joy) to accompany in the end.I sigh and gasp and smile and dance(sometimes)when they meet each other in the end.I like to think that I am in love too!!with this ..what should I call it??...this vision.That is how I like it.

I think love is too delicate a sentiment to come out of an old book, or a good painting, or an Austen romance, and merry songs and actually thrive in the real world.Go on eat off my head all you people "violently" in love.But, somethings are just too good to be true.It is a muse to the artist: love can actually make you happy,very happy.But that is as long as you keep it to yourself;the minute a someone enters, the magic is gone,the charm vanishes and many things much less divine try to substitute.Now, will that keep love ,love?There is this poem, one of my favourites by a certain someone we were taught to like in our graduation classes.It goes something like this:

I WHISPERED, "I am too young,"
And then, "I am old enough;"
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.

"Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair."
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.

O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love.

Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.

Now, it doesnot really matter if you have heard of a mad fellow Yeats and Maud Gonne or not,also it doesnot matter whether we have been in love or not...we can all understand the feelings of this frustrated, failed, crossed lover.It is universal ,though not real for everyone.For me love feeds on the ideal.That is how I'll let it be: a quaint, framed picture on my bedside desk, that I love to look at now and then.

P.S:????

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Sunday Musinggs...

Lazy Sunday...yawn..yawn.All I am doing is humming this quaint oldie Aaj jaane ki zidd na karo.The melody is heady and Farida something (beginning with K), has suchha ethereal voice...It takes me high, to a different world of probably love(?).That's all..I am not wasting my Sunday trying to understand love n all...Will try some other time...something for the next post..So hum along:
Aaj Jaane Ki Zidd Na Karo
Yu Hi Pahalu Mein Baithe Raho
Haye Mar Jayenge
Hum To Loot Jayenge
Aisi Batein Kiya Na Karo

Tum Hi Socho Zara
Kyu Na Roke Tumhein
Jaan Jati Hai
Jab Uthake Jaate Ho Tum
Tum Ko Apani Qasam Jaan-e-Jaan
Bat Itani Meri Maan Lo
Waqt Ki Qaid Mein Zindagi Hai Magar
Chand Ghadiya Yahi Hain Jo Aazad Hai
In Ko Kho Kar Abhi Jaan-e-Jaan
Umr Bhar Na Tarasate Raho

Kitana Maasum-O-Rangin Hai Ye Sama
Husn Aur Ishq Ki Aaj Meraj Hai
Kal Ki Kis Ko Khabar Jaan-eE-Jaan
Rok Lo Aaj Ki Raat Ko

Friday, March 14, 2008

A Distant Memory...

As kids we all have our own lot of bhoot-pret anecdotes, thanks to the earnest enthusiasm of our Grannies and Great Grannies...and they indeed are a success at continuing the legacy of the supernatural.While this creates a base in our unripe minds of a dark and sinister world that cannot be helped or handled, and may end up creating foolish ninnies out of us who shake at the trivialest noise..I am not going to pass a judgement on them.These certainly create a action packed childhood.The story I am going to recount is of nobody's doing but my own mind's.


Dad, being in the Indian Army had to keep moving from one place to other: and without doubt our family followed suit.That's how I got to see a lot of different places and found myself in a new and strange school every two years.This was at the time when I was a student of class 1...way back in 1992(?).In a place called Bareily(UP), we were posted.The school there was a quaint red brick building.There was a senior part of the school(called 'bada school') and ours was the primary part (called 'chota school').There was a drain(nala) with a rickty plank that served as a bridge(atleast that is what we used to call it).Now when I think about it, it was just a laughing matter. But, for me as a small child my entire attention was rivetted to the time when I was to cross that precarious bridge again.I was sure it will be the end of me one day.It was constantly creaking under the rapid pressure of a rowdy bunch of students trying to overrun each other at chutti time.Once when I somehow managed to find myself in the middle of such a surmounting confusion on that plank, I thought my end was near...my face was wet with tears and I was wailing.But, as fate would have it, I was rescued.The incident kept me shaken for the rest of my days in that school and I always left school in the very end.Now, reader this was just a digression beofre I launched into the real tale.


My classroom was more dark than I can remember.The walls were cold and moist and very rough.I have no memory of my classmates save that I know they were a bunch of snooty girls and indifferent boys.I never managed to fit in with them.There was ,however, an exception.I had two friends,two boys. I cannot recall their names.We were forever getting out of class and roaming about, running through the building and discovering new places-the scarier the better.There was a room with the heighest ceiling ever.It was a store room with glass doors, and the furniture inside was broken piled one top of other till one could hardly see the ceiling.A lone ray of sunlight had somehow found its way in that room, and there was a dazzling halo coming from behind the wasted pile.It was magical, and the three had always loitered around the room, never daring to stand near the door(you see, the door could suck you in). The room was particularly interesting because there were the remains of crows n other bones and a pigeon nest.


My friends told me that many a students had been murdered in that chamber.It was a punishment room, in which you were locked for the night, and in the morning only the body remained. The same happened to the crows and other animals.Whosoever entered, never returned.It chilled me to my bones.One of them even managed to impress upon me that the furniture pile resembles a demon with many hands.It came alive at night.The only way to keep it from killing us was to feed it with fruits.Since that day the precious contents of my lunch went to that damned door.We even picked up berries(shatoot) and deposited it at the door to quench the demon's fury.Then we felt the wall on either side of the door and shook our heads at each other...'it was eating'.


One day miraculously the door opened.Probably some cleaning business.But, to us the demon was out.Whenever someone whispered I thought it was about the only thing I could think of.My friends suggested that one of us should go in and try to tell the demon not to harm us.But, none of us could muster up such courage.It was then that one of them made the rule that all of us have to do either of the two.Go to the demon, or go in the toilet.Now, I have comfortably forgotten to recount the terror of the toilet.It was the darkest place on earth and emitted the strangest sounds.No one in the right frame of mind would attempt to go there.We had seen some bigger students go in and come out in one piece.But then it was well known that whatever was inside harmed only the small children.


So that was that.A choice had to be made.We unanimously selected the toilet.Something that we still hadn't seen was preferred to the immediate dilemma facing us.It was break time.We held each others hands and looked self-important as well as scared to shit.Step by step, heart to heart ,left right left we all walk down, like scared 5 yr olds.Once inside the huge room, we could not see a thing..it was pitch dark.This is an extreamly unpleasant feeling...as you were groping in the darkness for something solid...and there are a thousand things out there to get you, maybe just behind you, or on your left or your right..and gosh! you couldnot see them.I could hear the shallow breathing...who was it???coz I know none of us had air left in our lungs.Still I had to keep my curiosity to myself as I didnot dare to make a sound.Suddenly, I was all alone...we had left each others' hand.Gradually my sight seemed to return and what I saw did not make me any happier.The compartmentalised toilet rooms were vacant...nothing human or otherwise...With a lot of courage I look above.I shouldn't have.


The ceiling was higher than anything known to me...like a huge dark sky coming down on me...the cobwebs halfway down were gloomy...sunlight came weakly through the dust encrusted(probabaly a century worth of dust) window panes.The air hung solid and there was a sickly greenish feel everywhere.As I gazed ahead I saw a half wall at a great distance and something was peering at me.It was a long face very long and strange...with big eyes and no nose and huge teeth.It had horns and was looking at me steadily.There was sounds of shuffling and the strangest possible noise.I was fixed and rooted...the gaze of the monster intensified and I felt as though it was nearing...that face.The taps were gurgling and sudden jerky noises of blocked water made me jump everytime.I could not speak and thought that I had lost speech.All I could hear was a swish..faint at first and then quite vigourous.Everything was turning white, strange white, I felt like my feet were liquid and I was falling down.There was no room left for thoughts now.


When I opened my eyes next, both my friends were looking at me and there was the groundsman.It would not have been very long.But, my nerves seemed to be shaken pretty badly.My friends were smiling and said we had successfully killed the demon and pointed somewhere.I found that the doors of the store room were open..n all the furniture was lying out in the verandah.I was too weak to respond.The groundsman was trying to make me drink some water, and seemed highly irritated that we were consuming his time unnecessarily.I stood up with some effort.It was already post break.So I joined the class.After the school got over I hurried back without stopping to talk to the two of them.Actually. I never ever spoke to them again...and if they tried to talk I ran away.


P.S:Later I found out that there was a stable on the other half of the primary toilet and horses were kept.Now, that didnot alleviate my fears.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

One Of tHOsE ThinGGs..

Weekend...weekend, yet another two-days of freedom.Even though weekend holidays donot matter right now-to me:coz I'm freeee and to my brother:coz exam time.After a week even he would be entitled to have the leisure that I(suffer)have.Yet, both of us agree that there's something magical about a Saturday and Sunday.School days are a thing of past, and school discipline, homework and the blessed weekend too seem too faraway.Still, I guess that special something about weekends has grown in all of us...and it is there to stay.

I am missing my friends.Hostel life would always remain special because of those chosen few.How much fun it was, days to throw back our heads and laugh...pulling each other out of the beds...missing the breakfast almost religiously...planning shopping sprees...borrowing makeup;accessories;and clothes...ordering food nearly everyday n fighting over the bits...stealing biscuits n ghar ka ghana(oh the precious lil potlies)...waking up till wee hours n treating ourselves to a must-have midnight snack...dividing work...bunking class...PNPC...affairs...career crisis...talking non-stop against the countless injustices of hostel life...playing stupid games of "good points-bad points"...having little fights n sending sms-apologies(as d doors were closed)...d funny cat-fights(just bcoz Godu n sona wud get bored)...trying in vain to surpirise d Bday girl(a common conspiracy,but much too sweet)...running around for medicines in case one of us was ill...d constant promise to start studies "tomorrow"(alas it never came :P).Gosh, how I miss those days of weird hair colours, equally weird Tees n shoes.We were forever looking forward and wondering how it would be by this time the next year.We parted ways with the promise to meet again...only wish it materialises(fingers crossed).Here's hoping for all of us that fun times may never end; with hugs n laughs n a few good friends.

P.S:love u sonu,ani,godu,mulo,montu,psycho...life wud be a punishment widout u guys!!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The hardest part of doing Absolutely Completely Damnably nUthiNgg!!

Somebody, I am not sure who(but somebody must have) said : A man without a motive is like a ship without a radar. While I solemnly swear I have a motive(and a pretty good one at that), I confess that for the past sometime I have been exceptionally jobless, indolent, and with no interest whatsoever to change my condition.Surprisingly, it is not sleeping till noon, that occupies me.No, not that.I generally get up at 5 in the morning and prepare myself for a day of work, good and meaningful.So, I begin with a walk across half the town,while the handful of early risers(vegetable vendors,ricksawwalas,chaiwalas groping in the last darkness)stare with natural curiosity and, I bet, some contempt.Amidst all I carry myself, huffing and puffing and working really hard to convince myself of the worth of such a task.

But with the rising sun, my hope drowns.On the right side of my bed half a dozen books stand piled.These are the ones I already completed(also,undoubtedly my favourites).Looking at these gives me a silent satisfaction as well as a revolting shouting craving for something more.I fervently wish that I had not finished these, so that I still would have the pleasure to have them as potential readables.I am through with books.Enough.

Then I take resort to my laptop, and if God is good and the modem responds I get the opportunity to find myself online.Great, online...now whatt??!!??check the scrapbook.Next 15 mins invested there.Bored.Next??check mail...hardly 5mins.Then??Wikipedia...searching for an array of stuff from the grail...to head of the states...to the origin of my name...to Clark Gable...to gone with the wind...to bermuda triangle...to blackholes.half way through I lose interest and the other half way my internet connection loses it.That'll do.

Television sucks bigg time. Newschannels go on with the same stuff again and again and again ad nauseam.But poor things, now they cannot make new stuff for me every second.Abandoned.An occasional classic on some channel keeps me hooked on for some blessed hours.Music channels I avoid with all my might.The same crap over and over again.Can't they play some oldies, and semi-oldies??

Lately, I have taken recourse to cooking.Every weekend I cook something special for my brother.Last week, it was Aloo Tikki.The rest of the week I try to plan and learn some new stuff and bug Dad to get the necessary ingredients.But, Dad eventually ends up doing more that what is required of him.He would constantly poke his nose and try to help and tell me an unendurable thousand times that I cannot handle pots and pans, and cooking is not my game(which I conclude is an obnoxious lie or unpardonable ignorance on his part).We constantly fight during the preparations and I can hardly remember a time when the serving was done with the both of us in good humour.My brother says, all this has a negetive impact on the food.So, I have learnt to cautiously ignore Dad's intrusions.This week I plan bread rolls.Let's see. Will definitely report it.

However, overall I cannot find anything worthwhile to do.With my brother locked in his room with books(boards u see),I have nothing to do but daydream.A jolly bad idea, I say.Once I tried pulling out my hair out of utter boredom.But, with so much iron in the water here wreaking havok on my hair I could not but be merciful to the lot.So,here I am putting down all that pent up crap in my blog.Convenient, must say.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

The most beauitful song ever...

LEAVING ON A JET PLANE
by Chantal Kreviazuk

All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside the door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye.
But the dawn is breakin' it's early morn'
The Taxi's waitin' he's blown his horn.
Already I'm so lonesome I could die.
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you never let me go.

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again.
Oh babe, I hate to go.

There's so many times
I've let you down,
So many times I've played around,
I tell you now they don't mean a thing.
Ev'ry place I go I think of you
Ev'ry song I sing I sing for you.
When I come back I'll bring your wedding ring.
So kiss me and smile for me,
Tell me that you'll wait for me,
Hold me like you never let me go.

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane,
Don't know when I'll be back again.
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you,
One more time let me kiss you,
Then close your eyes, I'll be on my way.
Dream about the days to come,
When I won't have to leave alone,
About the times I won't have to say
So kiss me and smile for me,
Tell me that you'll wait for me,
Hold me like you never let me go.

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane,
Don't know when I'll be back again.
Oh babe, I hate to go